On A Saturday... (Caution: Crazy Stuff - Try Not To Read)

It was Saturday, I remember... Lot of weird things happened that day... thought I should tell you all about it... ah, common, it won't take more than 3 minutes of your time... I know you can do it... i mean read it... haa? Cool, then...

That day, the Sun was already on duty as I closed my ears with both my muscular hands (muscular? hee just wanted to impress :))...
I did that while I was passing my friendly neighbourhood's tea outlet at Shankarmutt.

While my bike, a red Bullet, is not accustomed to these kinds of crazy circus stunts from my end, it expressed it's disapproval of my action (of leaving the handle to close my ears) by almost falling down on a pile of fresh garbage.

I brought back my hands with effort as I passed the outlet...
Why did I close my ears? Hmmm... there, 2 of my friends were discussing something I did not want to listen to... at any cost.

Then I come down to Punjagutta, to my office. As I enter my dear little cabin, my 'cave', I suddenly close my ears with my hands again and start singing a terrible song in the Vietnamese language, something I have never tried earlier...
While I close my ears and sing this song, the whole team rushes into my 'den' to see if everything is al-right with me.
My song must have sounded like listening to a reversed song of Michel Jackson, I mused with satisfaction.
But why did I do that?
Oh, that's because my team, outside the cabin, is discussing something, again, I did not want to listen to, at any cost.
I release my ears of their captivity and give the team a smile along with a sound that resembled a goat having indigestion problems...


As the day passes, on my laptop, I accidentally click on something that I should not have...
And Lo! A window opens with the content that I should not be looking at. Now stop imagining... it's not ladies in babys' clothes on that web site.
It has something that I do not want to see, at any cost. And what is that?
Now, please... let me maintain some suspense value in the blog, it had been my dream all my life :)

So, I close my eyes tight shut, trying not to look at the site and start pounding the mouse in vein effort to close the window... As I semi-open my eyes, if I can call it that, I see that there is an error message that looked almost like some terrorist's threat... that I did something that is now going to result in crashing my laptop... I call the IT guy who labours to undo what I did with closed eyes while I play Subway Surf on my iPad.Suddenly, without mercy, the IT guy starts telling me something that I will not want to listen to, at any cost.

No Way! I immediately, resort to what I have practised a few times since morning. I close my eyes, I shut my ears, and suddenly increase the volume of the song I was just singing... After about 32 repetitions of the first 3 lines of the song I slowly open my eyes and release my ears. I find the IT guy in an understandably painful expression... and juxtaposed to him was my boss with a "lineleeshious light bulb" expression - sorry even I don't know what that is.
"Am I unwell? Do I want to go home or perhaps to a doc?"... I answer in a polite "no" and give a sheepish smile coupled with a sound that emanated involuntarily from the deep recesses of my throat... the sound was actually close to a mad horse gargling.

My God! What is happening? Is that what you thought? Come on, wait till the climax, will you?


While I was heading back home on the same day, I was stalled on a red signal. Two bikers on either side of me... friends to each other, I guess...
They start talking to each other, over me, about the same thing I did not want to listen to, at any cost.
I panic as the discussion starts. I start to struggle here and there, try to push myself past the narrow strait between a big bus and a little car, all this resulting in putting my Bullet in an awkward position just enough to jam traffic.
Enter - the traffic cop, just on time to rescue me and give me a piece of advise on civilized ways of driving bikes.


Fine, now let me tell you what is happening. The friends at the tea outlet, my team at my office cave, the IT guy, the web site and the 'friends' on the red signal were all talking about the same thing, that I did not want to hear, at any cost!

They were discussing the story of the film I was going to watch the next day!
This is the latest film of one of the more popular stars, that released just the day before.
And these people are discussing the story? That is inhuman!
They have all watched the film already and they are having so much fun, revealing the important
scenes, the suspense, the story line and the punch dialogues in the film.
TOO MUCH!

Why do people do this? I don't want to listen to the story before watching the film. Like me, many might have this weakness... of being severely disinterested to watch a film if once the story is revealed.

I don't want to know, I don't want to read reviews on web sites and newspapers. No No No.

Now, tell me, would you not do the same weird things if you were me? Come on, say yes, you can get those sounds too, with a little practice... the mad horse gargling sound? hmmm?

To end the story, I went happily to the film on Sunday. Had great expectations on the film.
The director did a good job, I mused, it was a very interesting beginning to the film...
And then it happened... an overenthusiastic cine buff, sitting right behind my seat, started explaining the story to his friend. Every scene, before it actually was shown, every dialogue before it was uttered, every twist before it manifested...
Agrrrrrrr! Why should people watch the movie and come back to watch it again?
Why cant they control the strongest muscle in their body, I mean the tongue...

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

Thank you for reading :)

PS: You had a question at the end, I could almost hear it. Why did I not turn back and tell the guy
to shut up? Yes, I did turn back, but the guy actually looked like a desi version of a cross between Mike Tyson and Arnold Schwarzenegger... shouting on him might, actually not be a very healthy idea... meeehhaaaeerrraaa (the sound of a mongoose when you press his tummy hard)... :)